BBB = Best Business Behavior
It's time for us to adopt a professional creed. Maybe like the Girl Scouts Law (but not really, since I was kicked out of my troop in fourth grade for being "boy crazy." Different story for a different day.) but updated and modernized for our busy reality.
It's all common sense, when you think about it. Do we really need to be reminded of how to interact with other humans to get work done? Sadly, yes.
When you experience consistent, repetitive violations of commonly accepted societal business norms, one has to stop and think: how can we fix this? We can start by collectively agreeing to live our business lives by the following tenets:
Be Responsible: If you're going to ask for a meeting, don't make your invitee do the work, ever. Vague attempts at a soft ask come off as ignorant, phishy, and raise immediate red flags. Witness:
Bad Ask: "We should get together for coffee. Let me know what works for you."
Good Ask: "I am doing xyz, and I'd love to get your take on it. I am free for coffee at date/time/location option 1, date/time/location option 2 and date/time/location option 3. If none of these work for you, please let me know a date that does and we'll get it on the books."
And by the way, a fancy cup of coffee may be an indulgence to some, but please don't dangle that as a carrot for meeting. If you offer to "treat" me to a cup of coffee, that meeting will never happen. I promise.
Be Respectful: Of time. Don't ask someone to coffee or lunch without being very clear about why you are asking for this meeting. And no, saying "catching up" doesn't count (unless this is someone with whom you've got an established relationship, and it has been months since you've seen each other). See the Good Ask example above. Very specific, very detailed, very good.
Be Practical: Repeat after me, as many times as you need it to sink in: "Facebook messenger isn't for business. Facebook messenger isn't for business. Facebook messenger isn't for business." It is not that difficult to find an e-mail address. Really. I swear. Or even a phone number. If you want to be taken seriously, keep the business inquiries and networking requests out of Facebook's messaging system.
Be Respectful, Part 2: Of experience. Listen, everyone has to start somewhere, I know. I did, too. But you don't have to be offensive to get on the path to success. Things that will automatically get you "accidentally" deleted from my phone include: leading with an ask about about rates (generalities or ranges are OK if we know each other well), assuming that I want to freely share contact information for media members (with whom I've worked to build great relationships) and "letting" me pick up the tab for the meeting you called.
Be Studious: Do your homework. A journalist recently shared a story of a meeting she had with another public relations professional. During their lunch meeting (initiated by the publicist), it came out that the PR person had never looked at the journalists' publication. As in didn't know publishing frequency, wondered out loud (to the journalist) where to pick up a copy, and asked about audience. Google exists for a reason. Use it. Being able to carry on informed conversations will score major points.
Be Respectful, Part 3: Of the process. Building business relationships is a lot like dating. If you want it to work, you've got to take it slow. Really. It's about give and take and building trust.
Be Gracious: Say thank you to every one, all the time. Sources, clients, friends, work friends, the media. Even when you're not sure you should, say thank you. Even if you think you may have already done it, say thank you.